Dry Your Mouth Out With A Dry Jan

If you're reading this on a golden throne of moral high ground, sipping your Green Herbal Tea and revelling in just how fresh you feel, you may be doing Dry January. It's an incredible New Year's Resolution that many of us dream of one day achieving. You, dear reader, have taken the steps to commit this time to a never ending journey of health, early mornings and a clear mind for the rest of your days. Or until February 1st...

If you're searching for ways to justify this dry-mouthed month, read this article for a few positives on why it's a fabulous thing.

Pennie For Your Pint?

After the eye-watering, jaw straining and all round crippling monetary event that was Christmas, we're all in a position to hold on tightly to our purse strings like our lives depend on it. Unless of course, you have just received a large grant from a very, very generous sponsor on your Dry January GoFundMe page. With rising prices and the dreaded cost of living crisis, our beloved tipples have taken the hit too. Getting the round in for your party of ten is now equivalent to putting a down payment on a Bugatti. The only place you can get a cheap drink is the depths of the North. Or in a dimly lit, sticky floored Popworld at 2pm on a Tuesday. If you're lucky enough to live in either in these places, please get the round in for us. However for the rest of us, our precious Sterling Pounds are being spunked on Stirling Pints. Not in January though. Now is the time to repair some of the damage the Holiday Season has done to your bank account.

The Early Bird Gets The Mocktail

Ever wondered what 7am looks like? And I don't mean a Work 7am where you're half asleep, despising the world and everyone in it for the audacity of having to work for a living. Screw the sunrise, it's another work day. I mean a weekend 7am, where you've got up of your own volition, completely devoid of any hangovers. The day seems to last years ahead of you. This new sober you can do anything it wants now. Instead of lying in bed until midday with the occasional trip to the toilet for a Tactical Chunder, the day is now completely wide open. Get that annoying 5 minute admin task that's been hanging over you for 3 months sorted. Clean your house from top to bottom. Read the entire copy of A Brief History of Time and enjoy the realisation that not only have you now gone sober, you are also master of the known universe. What a way to be holier than thou. A whole new day has dawned and with it, a sober you. People will ask what a 7am sunrise looks like and you will be able to tell them as they gather round the fire. People will whisper and point in the street at you as you walk past your local. 'That's the lady who did her M&S yellow sticker haul at 7 in the morning' they will say. Oh, the great many things you can achieve with a clear, early morning.

The Percentage Peacock

One day in the dark grips of January, you may be invited out for a 'social gathering' where your lesser counterparts guzzle alcohol down their gullets. It's an envious sight. But you too guzzle down your own Raspberry and Elderflower gin, secure in the knowledge that it is in fact 0% alcohol. This way, you can pretend you are enjoying all the positives of alcohol if you pretend hard enough. All the tensions of the day like that leak under the kitchen sink, the awful Teams meeting with your despised colleagues and the crippling anxiety which usually renders you socially mute in a gathering such as this, fade away. Call it the placebo effect, but downing a nice alcoholic free beverage might just trick your brain into thinking it's getting its inhibitions lowered all the same. There's a ton of tasty alcohol free beers, ciders and mocktails to make your transition just that little bit easier. Down the 0% alcohol like there's no tomorrow, and you can point out to everyone just how little 0% actually is. You can also use hilarious one liners like 'that's really gone to my head!' to the utter delight of your companions. It never fails.

Skinny Privilege

This is one of the arguably biggest positives of doing a Dry January. Whether this is your motivation or not, you can't deny a sober you may lead to a healthier you. I know no one wants to hear it, but alcohol contains an unfair amount of calories. Some less than others. Everyone on a diet has tried the sneaky Vodka and Diet Soda trick with almost no calories to name. But those lovely Pinot's you have every night in front of the telly, or the Stella you gulp with the lads after work, all add up to bigger calories and inevitably, a bigger waistline. No one wants to hear it, it really dulls an enjoyable night out. But, as it's Dry January, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that you will be cutting a ton of calories out of your diet. Instead, you can fill those empty calories gaps with full meals and healthier options. Make way for those inches dropping off you, you'll be squeezing into some impossibly sized Zara jeans before you know it. A girl can dream I guess...

One Crafty Lass

It's time to look for some new hobbies to fill the void of one your most beloved hobbies; drinking. You suddenly have a shit ton of free time on your hands. But this is no reason to fall behind on social occasions or meeting new people. There's a whole community out there for non-drinking activities. Walking, reading, new exercises, museum and art trips, walking again, day classes to learn new skills, a book club, walking...I know I mentioned walking three times, but it really doesn't get enough credit. A nice walk pretending to be a Jane Austin heroine lost on the mores is a great boredom fix. Now is your time to get back to your inner creativity. Pick up a paintbrush, write that novel you've always dreamt of, go and wax your lovely car again. A New Year New You can pick up a skill you never thought you could even attempt. You may come out of 2024 with a whole new persona. Just think, in a few month's time, people could be asking you 'Since when did you know such much about dough rising temperatures?'

Sober Sleepy So and So

For a fair few of us, the first dark days of going cold turkey lead to many fitful nights. Tossing and turning and dreaming of the warm loving embrace of a Guiness to rock you away to sleep. Without this crutch, getting to sleep is often an effort in the first few days. Eventually though, your body will adjust and soon you'll be having much more restful nights than ever before. No more will you walk into work at 8:30am with dark panda eyes and an irritable attitude. Now, you will walk into work at 8:30am with just an irritable attitude. What an improvement! New Year New You is really transforming with this better rested, non alcohol brain. While alcohol admittedly does help you get to sleep quicker, it also lowers the amount of REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep we get. It's the deepest part of our sleep with the most restorative aspects. Ditching alcohol is going to make your eyes fly out of your skull with how rapidly they're going to be moving. And it's also going to repair your sleepy body while it's at it. 

Liver Every Moment

It's fun to discuss the weight loss, money savings and extra time on your hands, but the best thing about Dry January is definitely the improvement of your overall health. While it's not very Rock N' Roll, remaining sober greatly improves any repairs to potential liver damage, and also reduces cardiovascular and cancer risk. Not drinking this January is going to give your bod the ultimate Glow Up. Post a picture of a lovely pink and fluffy liver on your Manifest board and think of it when you're powering away on your treadmill. If you're the sorta guy or gal who wants those gym gains, staying dry is going to help your body be the best it can be. Soon you'll be showing those guns of yours off and sipping on a Diet Coke. Of course, going sober isn't going to do all the work. I'm sure we all wish taking a sip of a non-alcoholic mocktail will transform us immediately into Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Unfortunately, a drink that powerful hasn't been invented yet. All the more reason to go Dry this January.

These are just a few of the positives of doing a Dry January. There are many benefits to join the craze. Who knows, you may enjoy it so much and do a whole year sober, or even longer. Or, you may fall at the first hurdle and realise this sobriety business is really not for you. You'd much rather enjoy every fun filled day off with a tasty beer. Who wants to be a square? You do you! 

Even cutting down so you're part square will reap huge benefits. And for all those Tea-Totallers, embrace your squareness and peak health that comes with a sober lifestyle. If you want a few tips on New Year’s Resolutions this year, take a look at the article New Year’s Resolutions You Won’t Want To Live Without - But Will Anyway.

Good luck, and I'll see you all in February for a '7 Ways To Cure A Hangover' article which I'm sure is imminent...